Sail-eberty death match, Outers free-for-all
by Golden Solaris
Summary: The outer senshi fight! COMEDY! Watch out for falling spanish-insanity jello!


Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Don't sue me, I'm broke.  
  
SATURN vs. NEPTUNE vs PLUTO vs URANUS  
  
OUTER SENSHI FREE-FOR- ALL  
  
  
  
Sailor Enigma: Welcome to another fabu episode of Senshi Battle Zone! I'm sure you're all aware.. the buzz has been on for weeks! WHO IS THE NEW ANNOUNCER? Well, my decision to include the newest member of the Sail- eberty death match staff was extremely easy! She's very funny, humourous, extremely intelligent and well-informed about SM.... who is she you ask?  
  
*drums beat*  
  
*Sailor Earth bungee jumps into the arena*  
  
Sailor Earth: WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *Hits ground and makes a little squishy noise, but gets up just as fast as she got down.* WOW! That was fun! Extreme bungee! *Deep serious voice* Kids, don't try that at home! Sailor Enigma, I'm just bubbling over with... ummm, what's that word... Excitement! YAY!!!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Yeah! We're so happy to have you! Sailor Earth, everybody!  
  
Crowd: *goes wild*  
  
Sailor Enigma: This week we definitely have a good fight for you lined up! Saturn vs. Pluto vs. Neptune vs. Uranus! The outer senshi free for all! What do you think, Earth?  
  
Sailor Earth: Wow! That's a lot of fire power Enigma. I'm not sure on this one, but I think that Pluto's hair is kewl! Do you know her stylist's number?  
  
Crowd: *Sweatdrop*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Well, I go with Sailor Pluto. I agree with SailorEarth. I mean, can you REALLY, TRULY deny the power of GREEN HAIR? I repeat myself, GREEN HAIR.  
  
Sailor Earth: *Does cheer* Gimme a B! Gimme a Z! What have you got? A REALLY COOL FIGHTING ARENA!!! YAY! *Jumps around some and does a cart wheel*  
  
Sailor Earth: What does this button do?  
  
Sailor Enigma: No.. don't press that!  
  
*a flock of geese are released into the arena*  
  
Geese: Honk honk honk, eh?  
  
Sailor Enigma: They must be Canadian geese... oh no, you know what kind of damage geese can do to an arena!  
  
Sailor Earth: Have no fear! I will get those geese! *Grabs Sailor Enigma, and a really big butterfly net* Heeeeere geese geese geese! *Lunges at geese, catching a few in the net, but falls on top of a hot dog stand!* HOT DOGS!!!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Ahhh! *watches as the men in the white coats hold Sailor Earth down*  
  
Sailor Earth: YAY! *Runs over to gong, and whams it really hard*  
  
Gong: BONG!!!!!!!  
  
Sailor Earth: Wooooo, feel the vibrations....  
  
Sailor Enigma: *holds onto the wall so she'll stop shaking* Whoo hoo! Fight starts!  
  
*cherry blossoms float in*  
  
Sailor Uranus: Invited buy a new age, here I am! The magnificent Sailor Uranus!  
  
Sailor Neptune: Likewise, I am Sailor Neptune.  
  
Sailor Pluto: Here I am, preserving peace for all time! Sailor Pluto!  
  
Sailor Saturn: The soldier of death, I am the silent one, Sailor Saturn!  
  
Crowd: *standing ovation*  
  
Sailor Earth: BLOSSOMS! *Grabs at the cherry blossoms, and makes a wreath , then puts it on her head.* Enigma, how does this look? *Shows off head gear*  
  
Sailor Enigma: It's beautiful! Hmmm..... *grabs Earth's head gear and eats it* sweet.  
  
Sailor Earth: HEY!!!! *Bonks Enigma on head with large inflatable EMU!* That was my hat! *Whines  
  
Sailor Enigma: *shrieks and steps back as it blazes between the announcers and wacks into Pluto* AHHHH! *runs back to the booth*  
  
Sailor Earth: That had to hurt! *Looks out from under table* This booth is attack proof right?  
  
Sailor Enigma: Pretty much.... whoa! Saturn.... awwwww... she's so kawaii! She wacks Sailor Neptune in the back with her glaive! Uranus doesn't like that....  
  
Sailor Earth: Ya don think that "Haruka-papa" would hurt her little Hotaru, do ya? She is kawaii though... Hey, do you think that she would let me borrow her glaive... when she's not using it, or sumfin?  
  
Sailor Enigma: I dunno! But look! Sailor Uranus raises her Space Sword! It glows ominously... she's ready to attack...  
  
Sailor Earth: Oh no! I can't watch! *Covers eyes* Poor Hotaru!  
  
Sailor Enigma: A glowy thingie wacks Saturn! She flies back! AHHH! *ducks as Saturn slams into the announcer's booth* Jeez!  
  
Sailor Earth: Hey! Watch where you are flying! *Wipes dust of her gloves*  
  
Saturn gets up. She looks reeeeally angry!  
  
Sailor Engima: She charges at Uranus! But look... Sailor Neptune trips her! She falls over! But now it looks like Pluto is going to get some action!  
  
Sailor Earth: Ohh, Neptune's all muddy now! She looks really mad!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Sailor Pluto very skillfully twirls the time staff around and bonks Neptune with it!  
  
Sailor Enigma: The orb of churning winds smashes into Sailor Uranus! Neptune snarls...  
  
Sailor Neptune: Deep Submerge!  
  
Sailor Earth: The blue waters speed toward Pluto, but she ducks, and it hits Saturn instead!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Saturn swings her glaive at Neptune, but Michi-san successfully jumps out of the way and lands behind Uranus! Pluto and Saturn nod... they start to circle around Neptune, Uranus stands by... wondering how she can protect Michiru.  
  
Sailor Earth: Suddenly, she uses her sword and charges at Pluto!  
  
Pluto blocks the attack with her staff, and she and Uranus start to ummm... sword fight!  
  
*Cling* *Clang* *Swoosh* *Voosh*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Neptune runs over, trying to pull Pluto away from Uranus. Saturn takes advantage... with one swift thrust, Neptune is done for... she hits the ground.  
  
Sailor Uranus: MIIIIIIICHIIIIIIRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!  
  
Sailor Neptune: Haruka... *Neptune fades*  
  
Sailor Uranus: No! No! Michiru, no... you can't be gone....  
  
Sailor Earth: *Starts to cry* *Sniff* That is so sad... Uhoh, Haruka looks really POed now... If I was Saturn, I would make my escape now.  
  
Sailor Enigma: I hope Sailor Uranus can control her anger, because that really would be an advantage for the other contenders should she lose her cool.  
  
Sailor Earth: Yeah, it would also be a real pill for us, due to the increased AC bill.  
  
Sailor Enigma: Oh look! Sailor Pluto smirks to herself...... she disappears into a time vortex! Eeep! I'm sure she's watching... ready for the time to make the right move.... damn she's smart! She's leaving Uranus and Saturn to fight it out and wow.... ingenious  
  
Sailor Earth: I'm telling ya, its gotta be the hair! Saturn and Uranus watch her disappear, and now both of them look pretty POed.  
  
Sailor Enigma: Sailor Uranus takes the initiative. She throws a World Shaking at Saturn! But it deteriates in her eerie aura.... oooh....  
  
Sailor Earth: *Puts on sun glasses* Ooooh, Shiny aura! Do you think that you can get those at the Senshi Convenient store? Saturn begins to glow, and she sends her attack flying towards Uranus!  
  
Sailor Saturn: Silence Glaive SURPRISE!!!"  
  
Sailor Uranus: Michiru....  
  
Sailor Enigma: She fades away....  
  
Sailor Earth: *Starts crying* That is so sad... *sniff* Well, at least they're together now. I should write a novel about this! Saturn has a smug triumphant look on her face when Pluto reappears out of the time vortex that she had been hiding in!  
  
Sailor Pluto: Dead scream.....  
  
Sailor Enigma: AHHHHH! *hides under the table as Pluto's attack causes the arena to get rather windy* Eeep!  
  
Sailor Earth: Feel the wind!!! *Almost gets blown away by the wind* AAAAAHHHH!!! *Hides under table with Enigma*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Hey look! Sailor Pluto and Sailor Saturn are duking it out with their weapons..... the glaive and the time staff clang against each other! This is like Xena! *does the Xena yell*  
  
Sailor Earth: *Pulls out light saber from sub-space pocket* Hey, where did this come from?!? I think its more like Star Wars!!! Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!  
  
Sailor Enigma: EEP! I can't watch! *hides* *looks up again* Okay maybe I can! Sailor Pluto uses the garnet ball and smacks Saturn in the face!  
  
Sailor Earth: That's gonna definitely leave a mark!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Ouch! Hota-chan should really get out of this situation, physically she is no match for Pluto..... she's half her size....  
  
Sailor Earth: Yeah, but that glaive sure can pack a punch!  
  
Sailor Enigma: It's meant to be used at a distance though! Omygosh! Sailor Pluto knocks the glaive out of Saturn's hands and flies across the arena!  
  
Sailor Earth: OH NO!  
  
Sailor Enigma: *wanders into the arena* *picks up Saturn's glaive* *opens a can of Del Monte peach slices with it* Ahhhhh! Delicious!  
  
Sailor Earth: ENIGMA!!! How can you think of food at a time like this!?!?!?  
  
Sailor Enigma: Easy! *little puffy cloud appears next to Engima's head*  
  
*image of French fries*  
  
*image of sushi*  
  
*image of chocolate cake*  
  
Mmmmmmmm *drool*  
  
*the puffy cloud disappears*  
  
EEP!  
  
Sailor Earth: *Runs out after Enigma* *Grabs Glaive* Give me that! *Runs over to Saturn* Here! Take the glaive!!! AAAAHHH!!!!!  
  
*Pluto attacks them!* Hey! Attacking the announcer is an illegal move!!! *Does a little Speedy Gonsalez thing back to the booth and hides under the table*  
  
Sailor Enigma: *eats some more peaches* Sailorsaturn, having recovered her glaive, now swings the Glaive at Pluto! BAM! Right before it hits her she disappears into another time vortex.  
  
Pluto's Voice: AM I HERE?  
  
Sailor Callisto: Saturn tries to follow her voice....  
  
Pluto's Voice: Or over here?  
  
Sailor Earth: *Spins around listening to Pluto* *Falls over* Geesh! That os sooo confusing!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Sailor Saturn closes her eyes....... oh my gosh.... and she thrusts the glaive forward the second Pluto appears! She's.... run through..... she falls limply to the ground.  
  
Sailor Saturn kneels next to her.....  
  
Sailor Pluto: Hotaru-chan.... *touches Saturn's hair* *fades away*  
  
Sailor Earth: *Cries* All these touching endings! That's so sad! A single tear slides down Saturn's cheek  
  
Sailor Saturn: Good bye Setsuna-mamma.  
  
Sailor Earth: *Cries...* WHAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Now Saturn is looking up, and she looks really smug.  
  
Sailor Saturn: Maybe now they'll give me more air time! No, a whole season just for me!  
  
Sailor Enigma: *sobs* *faints* *head wacks a button and the blob of green Jell-O falls on Saturn*  
  
Voice: YO QUIERO TACO BELL!  
  
Saturn and the Taco Bell Dog: GORDITAS! GORDITAS! *Exit the arena*  
  
Sailor Earth: VIVA GORDITAS!!!! *Eats Gordita*  
  
*Fans Gordita smell over to Enigma*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Hmmm mm? *gets up* Mmmm! Gorditas! Well, everyone, I guess that's another edition of Sail-eberty death match! The next fight: Starlights Free for All! Now LET'S PARTY! *chows down*  
  
Sailor Earth: PARTY! PARTY!  
  
Sailor Enigma: *the announcers form a conga line with Saturn and the ghosts of the outers* Woohoo!  
  
Sailor Earth: Come back next week folks! Same Senshi time, same Senshi channel! *Joins conga line* Come on every body lets do the conga! *Crowd joins conga line* *Every one congas over to Taco Bell* 


End file.
